Are you decisive and know what you want? OR do you get stuck in indecision?
Why is it important to know what you want anyway?
The reason it is important to take the time to know what you want, what truly delights you, because it’s the only way to ensure you will get it! Explore why you haven’t decided. Is it due to a fear? Are you playing safe? What are you resisting? What do you need to allow?
It is usually the thing we resist the most where we need to start. What you resist, persists. What you allow, blooms. Every time.
How do you know what is a true desire versus an idle wish?
We all say to ourselves, I wish I could _______. For me, it was play a guitar. For years, I thought it would be so great. I admired people who could play. I was mesmerized at live shows. I actually went so far as to buy a guitar and a training series once. The first video training, the first real demonstration, I couldn’t get my fingers coordinated enough to press the strings or remotely repeat the demonstration exercise and I haven’t even tried since.
My point in sharing this story with you is that playing a guitar was an idle wish for me. I didn’t want to do it enough to learn, to acquire the calluses, to put the time in, to practice. I didn’t want to learn to play enough to get through the inadequate phase.
In contrast, when I wanted to learn to write and then later to paint, I was consumed and intoxicated. I didn’t care how much I stank at writing or painting. I didn’t care how amateur my results were. The process of writing and making art were such a joy that it didn’t matter how many hours they required or how many classes I had to take or books I had to read.
That is the difference. When you really want something, you will do anything and it will flow. It may challenge you and you may have to dig deep, but the learning process will feel natural and you will feel alive along the journey.
One technique I use to make a decision between two outcomes is: I imagine how I would feel and what it would be like should each of the outcomes occur. With the knowledge at hand, I examine outcomes A and B. Once I imagine what might happen and how I might feel, I go with the one that brings more joy, that feels more exciting even if a little scary. If it is a really important decision, I typically spend a little while meditating first to clear my head and center my emotions.
Sometimes, it is okay to decide to not decide. Perhaps all of the information has not presented itself and you can’t make a comfortable decision yet. In that case, get on with your life, focus on the end-results that you know you want, and stay open for more information or opportunities.
Also, you may use the “if it’s not a yes, it’s a no” tactic. If you aren’t 100% behind a decision, it means no.
If you consider yourself indecisive or too easy-going, you might want to practice deciding. Even if you don’t voice your opinion out loud, give some thought to what you would choose if you had to decide. The more decisions you make, the stronger your voice, the more you trust yourself and the easier life flows.